Photo Credit: Wicked @Flickr
I have commitment issues.
And, not just any kind of commitment issues – I have girlfriend problems.
Problem: Girls hate me
I don’t make it easy for them – I am kind of a brat. If you do something I don’t like, all communications cease and desist. Yet, I don’t do too well if you dish out the same kind of silent treatment towards me.
I don’t call and I forget your birthday. I don’t do slumber parties or shopping. I’ll tell you if your ass looks fat in jeans.
Like I said, I have issues. But, I’ve gotten better…I think.
I sporadically check Facebook pages of friends long past, slightly envious of relationships that have blossomed in my absence.
I beat myself up for being myself. Then, it’s time to remember all the things I vowed I’d never do again.
Afterwards, dooming myself to repeat the same mistakes bit by bit when I get the chance. So growing up and all the maturity stuff is about moving on and all that other sentimental bullcrap you read in a Hallmark card.
The childish part of me wants to wallow in the pity party of being girlfriendless and or mourn that as of writing this post – all my friends live (or will live) in different states.
I don’t want to grow up because it’ll just remind me of how much work I have left to do. I don’t want to move on because I rather work on something beyond repair even though I know there are some places you can’t go again.
So, I’m giving up on this one. I’m asking a higher power to step in. I need a divine intervention because that’s the only thing I’ve got going for me now.
Hallelujah.