Fake
This communication trait is usually defined as someone who you feel (or you know) dislikes you, but treats you like sugar cotton candy whenever they see you. Women have big problems with this behavior, particularly in the office.
In social circles, it’s less of an annoyance because women are much more likely to “call you out” on such behavior. Especially, if they’ve had a little bit too much to drink. Nevertheless, this post is not about the tipsy behaviors of women toward fake-sometimes-gal-pals in bars.
This is about the (sober) communication traits women pretend don’t happen in the office, but seethe about later to their boyfriends or husbands. So, if someone is being fake, most aptly, they are being “insincere.”
And women loathe insincerity. It’s up there with lying…or sleeping with her best friend (which ever will peeve her the most at the moment).
Yet, the dual friction with such behavior is that women can’t stand it when other women actually act like they don’t like them. It’s hostile. It’s uncomfortable. It gets our Victoria’s Secret knickers in a knot. Especially, when we don’t know why.
And secretly, lots of women want to be liked other women.
Women are more adept at using communication as tools of exclusion, derision or alienation. So, we’re particularly annoyed (simultaneously) when others fake-like us versus participating in real-dislike.
It’s nutty. So, don’t try to think too hard about it.
On the other side of the coin, women never acknowledge that the fake behavior is about someone treating you like a respectable human being, despite the fact that they may trash you when your back is turned.
In that case, the adjective “spineless” can be added to the long list of descriptors in relation to this person. Yet, fake is just an inaccurate designator.
Secondly, if given the choice (and moral permission) to behave how we really wanted toward people we disliked (immensely) we’d be in trouble as a society. So, be thankful that whoever you deem “fake” has the moral aptitude to at least to pretend to like you when they see you (whether or not they don’t have the moral decency to keep pretending after you’ve left the room).
Most people insist that if such behavior has to occur, they rather the person confront them with how they feel or be “real” about it. I respond, however, with “why?” Get over yourself and the idea that you deserve to know what everybody thinks about you.
Leave those truthful sentiments for God and your parents.
And, yeah – they’re being insincere with their feelings, but that’s not the point. Fakeness (in the office) is not about sincerity – it’s about the (misguided) ways of getting what you want.
Bitch
How many women call men bitches? Honestly. Even though people like to think that the term is gender neutral, I wonder how many women will call men an @*!hole or jerk before they call them a Bitch.
Personally, I think women instinctively like using the word bitch. It’s got the extra oomph descriptor we need when wanting to describe a hard nosed, exacting and difficult woman.
On the other hand, it has that emasculating quality as well…when used in reference to a man.
Women are the gurus of detail when it comes to picking the word descriptors that best fit any situation (or person).
Snobby
This trait is always interesting to me because snobbishness is probably the most sensitive, subjective opinion one can have of other people.
And, women pick up on it like blood hounds. In work place culture, it’s hard to be nice to snobby people because they make it so easy not to be. Yet, snobbishness is manifested in a number of ways via cliquishness and other communicative behaviors women claim they abhor (but practice with shrewd efficiency when they need to).
I could go into an infinite amount of details of snobbishness taking place in the work environment, but let’s be safe in saying that no matter what – a woman will pick up on it.
Snobby behavior may be the symptom of pretentious, ill-mannered people, but it has some uses in the workplace.
For instance, knowing when to avoid the Bitch or the Fake-jerk.