***this is for all the high school seniors out there who claim they “hate” writing or claim they suck at it***

My sister is beginning the phases of college applications. We’ve been going back and forth about how to begin creating the guts of a personal statement. When you haven’t had a reason to be insightful or think about your life in terms of a past perspective - the idea of doing so can fry your brain.

Below is an email I sent to her. It may actually be helpful for those of you (currently) struggling with personal reflection:

I suggest before we talk (if you can), have a chat with a few of your teachers. Feel them out for suggestions on what you could write for a personal statement. You are going to have to write one anyway for college apps, so you may as well start funneling ideas now.

Quit making excuses about not being able to put your ideas on paper. That’s lame. So, stop it. Take responsibility for your own weaknesses and resolve to improve upon them. If you expect to survive college, keep in mind that no one is going to help you write the tons of papers you will have from classes.

There’s no Mom (or me) that’s going to proofread or critique. If you can’t be bothered with learning how to write well, then you can’t be bothered with trying to learn anything.

If you want to write something people can read, you need to practice.

Did you ever start keeping a journal?

If you want to begin the process of expressing yourself (as you claim to have trouble doing) – you have to practice it. That means, learning how to be insightful. Insightful people learn from their mistakes, take stock in the emotional process and understand the “bigger” things in the world around them. If you want to start doing this, quit whining about not being able to do it.

There is no formula for good writing. You have to put in old-fashioned hard work. Not everyone is born with this ability, others have to work at it. It might even actually help if you read something besides a Vibe magazine. Read some personal essays by the likes of Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison…hell, read Oprah’s magazine. Mom’s got one at the house.

You need to learn about different writing styles and how they resonate with the idea of a “personal statement.”

1. Keep a journal.
Start ACTIVELY being insightful. That means reflecting on how you spend your time. Write about your thoughts, no matter how mundane. Write about things you think about – why are you thinking about them? You don’t need a special book, so don’t dupe yourself into buying one.

2. Write something at least 4 times a week.
There’s nothing special about the number four, but it’s better than just writing something twice a week. This will also force you to constantly (and consistently) monitor your thoughts, moods, actions, etc.

3. Vent with clarity
The purpose of journaling is to write about how you are feeling. The point is to grow. There’s no point in trying to mature emotionally if you are going to write about how “Mom pissed me off” or “I hate that I can’t do what I want.” Try to answer the questions to your own problems. There’s no right or wrong answer, so don’t try to look for one, that will just impede your writing.

Did I leave anything out? Share your thoughts. Is there more to it when writing personal reflection?